Hip hip hip happy Christmas

Hope you are enjoying the time leading up to Christmas! The boy and I just finished a long, strenuous afternoon/evening of shopping, and we are SPENT!

I am really getting excited for the time spent with family and friends next week.

SO, wishing you a merry Early Christmas!

Love,

Eric, Roxy, and me.

Finally...

If you've been around my blog since July-ish you will probably remember this photo:

And the promise that came with it - sharing of the details of the Save the Date project... Well the time has come. Some of you may have received the postcard in the mail so this is old news. I still want to show it off though!

There it is! Front and back. :) It's printed on 'pearl' paper so it has a glittery, glossiness to it.

But our all time favorite part of the whole project was the video (which not everyone has seen!)

Oh I love it. I still watch it! We've had good feedback so far from both parts of the Save the Dates. They were so much fun to make & send out. The whole process took us a couple hours on the 4th of July. The video took maybe another hour. We got the postcards printed through Blossom Publishing and made our own address labels with our inkjet printer. Altogether, not too much work!

P.S. While I was attempting to photograph the postcards, I was interrupted:

hehe :)

Stopped in my tracks

I was just trying to have a lovely impromptu dinner with the boy tonight when all of a sudden I noticed that I could not see all of the letters in the word on my glass. I thought "uh oh..." and then proceeded to test out my vision by looking around at different details.

The I was missing in Miller.

The O was missing in Sports.

The pepperoni was missing on my pizza.

Then sure enough, I started to see the little lights.

Remember when you used to be able to turn your tv to channel 99 and see nothing but static? Or 'dancing ants' ? Now, it's probably just ESPN7 but you remember what I'm talking about. Well, picture that in bright colors. Now picture it right in the center of your vision, completely erasing what SHOULD be seen.

Now imagine it growing larger and larger within minutes until your entire vision is fuzzy, cloudy, and quite disturbed by the dancing colorful ants.

Welcome to my migraines. If I were an artist, I'd draw a picture to better describe. However, I'm not. So... I google image searched migraine auras. Interesting finds:

This shows the progression of the aura as it grows and then finally recedes. Blah.

Ugh I can't even look at this one.

A lot of people will say that even looking at or imagining the auras will bring tears to their eyes. I think the craziest part is that the aura doesn't bring pain at all. It's just the knowledge of what comes next. Check out this description I found here :

Migraine headaches may be preceded by a visual "aura", lasting for 20 to 30 minutes, and then proceeding to the headache. Some people, however, experience the aura but do not have a headache. This visual aura can be very dramatic. Classically, a small blind spot appears in the central vision with a shimmering, zig-zag light inside of it. This enlarges, and moves to one side or the other of the vision, over a 20 to 30 minute period. When it is large, this crescent shaped blind spot containing this brightly flashing light can be difficult to ignore, and some people fear that they are having a stroke. In reality, it is generally a harmless phenomenon, except in people who subsequently get the headache of migraine. Since migraine originates in the brain, the visual effect typically involves the same side of vision in each eye, although it may seem more prominent in one eye or the other.

Some people get different variations of this phenomenon, with the central vision being involved, or with the visual effect similar to "heat rising off of a car". Some people describe a "kaleidoscope" effect, with pieces of the vision being missing. All of these variations are consistent with ophthalmic migraine.

Yuck.

Pictures found: here , here , here, and here

Lucy & Sadie

I know it's been forever since I posted and believe me, it's never far from my mind. I need a fresh inspiration for daily posting! Until I get back on my blogging feet, I hope this will hold you over. Yesterday I had the honor of photographing my dear friend's little one, Lucy. She was such a delight, and I must say, quite taken with me. Hehe

I think nurseries are so adorable. Lauren and Jon have created a wonderful space for Lucy to grow up in.

She's so stinkin cute!!

I also recently was able to photograph my friends Nick and Laura with their newborn, Sadie! Seriously, I am completely intrigued with baby photography now.

Brings a smile to your face doesn't it? Babies may not be in my future for quite some time, but I'm certainly enjoying getting to hang out with my friends' little ones! :)

The Welker Family

Sue and I work together every Friday at the Y front desk. The first thing I ever heard about Sue was "Oh you work with Sue? She has 5 kids." I remember thinking, "Wow.. that's all I'm going to hear about. What in the world will we have in common!?"

I was wrong. We've become great friends! And her kids are seriously some of the cutest. She has Chase, followed by Kirsten, followed by twins Maya and Alana, and finally Corbin. Oh and her hubby Chad.

Chase was such a good sport! He was horribly ill but managed to bear with us during the shoot.

I love this last one - Corbin is looking back at me. What a cutie!!

The Boy's Band

I just have to shamelessly brag on my fiance and his band... They just got signed! This is a very exciting time for them, and they oh so graciously agreed to let me photograph them (and even use my photos on their new myspace and possibly the new album!!)

The shoot was slightly stressful but one of the most successful shoots (in my opinion.) So anyhow, congratulations to Southbound Fearing on signing with Red Cord Records! :)

I've been shooting a lot lately. Mostly small projects for friends and such, but it's been educational to say the least. For some reason, I get super nervous right before every shoot. So nervous that I start thinking of reasons to cancel! This feeling doesn't really shake until about fifteen minutes into the shoot. I even start thinking about how much I DON'T want to be a photographer. Where is this nervousness coming from?? And how do I CHILL out!?

After I relax and get into the flow of the shoot, I realize that I love what I've been doing lately, and I really hope I continue to shoot every weekend (at least!) We'll see...

Yay Fall!

We may not have THAT many fiery red or vibrant orange trees, but we certainly have some pretty trees. As much as I love springtime green against the blue sky, I loooveee orange, yellow, and red against the blue sky too!



Go take a walk! Who knows how many more beautiful, brisk fall days we have left!

PS I am not a fan of photographers/photo editors adding sun spots or rays after the fact so I just had to clarify that the photo above is unretouched. :)

ok ok I may have adjusted my contrast a bit but that's all!

Us.

We used a tripod, self timer, lots of patience, and lots of energy. I think our result was pretty allright! I still want to get some engagement shots next spring through the company I work for but we just wanted to see if I could make it work being both the subject and the photographer.

I'm still very excited to show off our save the dates... I just hate the labeling process so I've been slacking. Sorrrrrrry. Hopefully soon :)

p.s.

I cannot WAIT to show the blog world our Save the Date project!! I cannot post anything about it until they are actually sent out but


ahhhhhh


I love them! :)

Blah-xiety

This post over at Color Me Katie prompted this posting of a self portrait. And an explanation to go with it I suppose.

For the past couple months, I have been struggling with anxiety off and on. Mostly it will hit around 3 oclock, while I'm at work figuring out what tasks will finish up the rest of my day. I've noticed a few things that seem to incite the same tightening, less-than-panic-but-more-than-calm, uncomfortable feelings.

And they are weird!

First, this blog. Have you taken a look at all the blogs I follow? I used to LOVE looking through all of them. I would take my time picking through each and every one of them - feeling inspired, creative, and relaxed. The first time I felt this 'anxiety' while browsing through my favorite blogs, I remember thinking, "Now this is weird."

Is it that I don't want to miss any? Is it that I feel intimidated by everyone else's greatness and creativity? Is it that I am forcing myself to enjoy something I may not find enjoyment in anymore?

Maybe. Maybe. No.

Blog-xiety? heh...

The other circumstance I find to be anxiety-provoking is the process of placing a lab order at the end of the day. This is odd, but hang with me for a minute. Around 3, when the pressure of the day is wearing thick, when the lunch I enjoyed is starting to put me to sleep, and when the mounting general annoyance of the office hits sky high, I begin to plan out the remaining 2 hours. Usually, I finish up a few photo-retouches and prepare them for a lab order.

Ok seriously, just trying to explain this is giving me hives. Hah... All you need to understand I guess is that it's not a stressful task but my mind seems to think I need to be panicky about it.

Whyyyyyy do I have to put up with these stupid feelings? Why does my heart pound and my breath catch for any other reason than seeing my fiance (ahhh cheesy, but I had to throw it in there!) Why do I feel like something is horribly horribly wrong when I know that it's not!?

Mom says it's hormonal. Well I say it's ANNOYING!

Give me back rationality! Give me back my generally calm demeanor! Give me back my afternoons!

And go AWAY anxiety! Off with you!

Bruised

I just wrote two paragraphs on pain. Embarrassed myself, deleted it, and wrote this. Now here I am, feeling pretty crappy about this blog, among other things.

Why do I start things I can't finish?

Why do I promise things I can't deliver?

Why do I let myself let myself down time after time. And yes, I meant let myself let myself.

Why do I feel this weight of the world on my shoulders one minute and then have it disappear the next? Why, when it's bearing down on me, do I desperately want to do something about it but feel far too mentally wiped out to do anything at all?

Why is work so hard?

And why, oh why, am I writing this out in a place that is so public?

Hmm..

Maybe you feel it too. It's nice to know you're not alone.

Zesty!

Ugh, I worked 10 hours today. Up and down the stairs, answering phones, and spending some quality and not so quality time with my good friend Photoshop. Some days when I walk out the back door at 5, 6, 7ish PM, my brain is literally throbbing from all of the multi-tasking, computer staring, and workflow organizing I do throughout the day. Today was one of those days.

I thought the last thing I would want to do is sit in front of my [superior] home computer and spend more time with Photoshop. So I didn't. I watched some HGTV, even took a power nap during "My First Place." But then I heard my name.

Rachel!

Rachel! :crinkle crinkle: Rachel!

RACHEL!

It was my new Photoshop User mag, still in plastic packaging (hence the crinkling) sitting all by its lonesome on top of my coffee table. In all fairness, it was in good company with my unread Rachael Ray and Vogue mags.

Well anyway, I gave in to that little voice, ripped off the plastic, and started rifling through the pages. You can guess what happened next... Yep, I sat down at my computer and start playing.

Warning: these photos are ROUGH and literally just for fun. Please don't judge me on my sloppy extractions or poor creative ideas.



I spent some time looking for arrows, but they are all too clip-art-ish or ridiculous. Wouldn't it look cooler with an arrow in the wood right where he's looking? Shout out to Eric for being such a great subject!



Googly eyes are back. This one is a little silly but I liked the overall feel of it. The orange in front is lacking something. It needs something else to give it the UMPH it needs. But I'm not too unhappy with it - I'm unveiling it here aren't I?

So my head hurts a LOT now. Time for bed.

bookcases.

Are your bookcases crooked and relatively pointless?



Reminiscent of a geometric pattern?



Featuring an alternate purpose such as climbing to another level of your house?




Ridiculously sorted in a pretty neat looking rainbow pattern but impossible for ever finding the book you want simply because you cannot recall the color of the binding?



Cleverly placed behind a decorative curtain with a ladder for the tall shelves?


Ooooo I've always wanted bookcases that require the use of a ladder. I can't wait to have my own home so I can take advantage of some of these amazing uses of the things-that-hold-my-precious-books. My semi-obsessiveness probably wouldn't allow for color coding because you have the size difference problem, not to mention the fact that I wouldn't have any (ahem, many) books in black, brown, or red. Also, what do to when you have more than one book by the same author? You can't tear them apart! Atrocious.

No, no. I won't be color coding. But I can appreciate those who do.

I'll just be dreaming of a shelf so high I must roll the ladder out from behind the decorative curtain, climb 2 to 3 rungs high, and comfortably pull out my non-dog eared copy of (fill in the blank here) then proceed to lounge on my extra comfy couch for a nice little reading session.

Sigh.


All images found via google image search of "bookcases" "bookcase" or "color coordinated bookcase."

Scars & Work

I've been doing a lot of retouching at work these days since I am now in charge of all of our orders. So pretty much all day I go from file to file, face to face, using the clone, healing, and patch tools over and overrrr again. Fun right?

Well what starts happening when you do this day in and day out? You see people with under eye bags, and you want to pull out your tablet, hit 'S' on lighten at 20% opacity and just swoooop under the eyes a couple times. Voila!

Only, it doesn't work in real life. Darn.

So I came to a realization that when Eric and I get married and someone somewhere spends a couple days processing our images (ok who am I kidding, it will probably be me) what will they take out as blemishes/flaws and what will they leave in?

If you scroll down to the last posting you'll see a photo of Eric and I. I did NO retouching to the image. Not because there's none to be done, but because I loved the photo and didn't want to spend the time obsessing. Anyway, Eric has these adorable little freckles scattered across his face. An average retoucher would probably not remove them all but would certainly lighten them and remove about 40-50% of them. Also, you may notice I have scars on my forehead.. See below:





I had chicken pox, and instead of heeding the warnings of all the adults around me, I scratched the big one right on my forehead. A decent sized circular 'pit' (official term) is what I was left with for that indiscretion.

I also walked into a coffee table when I was a toddler. Mom calls it walking into, Dad calls it fell onto. Either way, silly me. A half moon shaped scar from the stitches sits pleasantly next to the circular pit.

On my 6th birthday, I fell onto a filing cabinet. I remember it vividly. I thought it was a great idea to get up on the dining room chair to reach for the festive birthday balloons, lost my balance and !%WHAM#@! Forehead smacked into the corner of the metal filing cabinet (for some reason located in the dining room? Confusion.) 5 stitches later, we were walking into the parking garage of the ER and my dad says,

"So, it's your 6th birthday..."

yea?

"And you got 5 stitches..."

ok?

"Why don't we go back in for another so you can have 6 stitches on your 6th birthday!"

I'm pretty sure I cried.

Soooo anyway, my point is coming. Mom always said I had such a giant forehead it had to hit everything first when I fell. I'd say that is kind of embarrassing, but hey, it's part of who I am! Scars and all. Freckles and moles and all.

So retouchers beware! Sometimes you may find people content with their imperfections, flaws, or scars.

Sometimes it just adds to the story of how we came to be who we are today.

PS

1. We did organize, clean, and re-arrange my room. It's now a joy to spend time in here (instead of a stress!)

2. We had a wonderful dinner with Mom on her birthday. It was an excellent evening. We made spitfire shrimp with whole wheat fettucine noodles.

3. I did not make it to the gym 4 times. I'm ashamed. Next week, I swearrrr!

4. I didn't make too many lists. Phew.

5. What else was I supposed to do?

6. Oh yea, passport.. Didn't happen.

7. Also did not blog. Sigh. What is wrong with me?

Our studio manager at work, Lauren, had her baby on Thursday and everything just happened so fast! She had a beautiful baby girl and we are so excited to see more photos and get a visit sometime :)

So these next few weeks are going to be really crazy for me. Bear with me.

Love him.

I'm a lucky girl.

I'm alive...

It's been nearly 2 weeks since I've blogged.

I'm really concerned about this. It was such a great outlet for me and got me thinking creatively every day. Now I'm... sort of burned out again. My head is a jumble, and life won't let me catch up for a breather.

Since I've started this post, for example, I've gotten up 3 times to try to straighten up my room - only to get overwhelmed and sit back down.

Did I ever mention that I am a list maker? My head isn't straight until I have a list to sort it all out.

So here's my list for this week:

1. REALLY clean my room. Organize, de-clutter, put things back where they need to be. (Eric, I need your help with this one!)
2. Try to revive my love of photo-blogging.
3. Find the paperwork necessary to finally get a passport.
4. Get to the gym at least 4 times!
5. Celebrate Ma's birthday & cook her dinner (Will need your help here too, love)
6. Try not to make too many lists.....

...

Get my life in order!!! Ahhh!

Casper "Chester" Ade (Holt)

If this is what I get every time I have a bad day... you'll have to call animal control on me. Hehe, thanks to the boy for this little addition to our family! Roxy's surgery went well, btw. She woke up from the anesthesia and just needs to be kept for 2 more days. She'll meet her newest little brother on Thursday!

Good Morning...

I couldn't resist one more photo from the weekend. This is one of my favorites. I'm off to drive Rox to her surgery appointment. Wish her the best! I love my puppy...

My dear friend Carley got married

So I spent the majority of Saturday and ALL of Sunday at this 1.5 million dollar home on the waterfront of Lake Michigan.



Carley and Stefan decided to wed in this lakefront home full of their family and closest friends, lots and lots of food, plenty of beer to go around, and the best cake I've ever tasted.



Ahh seriously, look at his face. Could he be any more in love? Sickeningly sweet, and I can't wait to see what Eric's face looks like during our ceremony! Scared? Ha. I hope not!! I would be silly not to mention the stairs...

Oh the stairs.



Halfway down the stairs, looking back up at about 120 steps? Killer, steep, pulse pounding, exercise inducing steps.



And looking down from the halfway point, another 120ish steps. But totally worth it.



The sunset was unbelievable. Words cannot describe and cameras cannot capture the beauty.



Not for lack of trying that is...





Darn spider got in my shot! Hehe, pretty nifty huh? The sunset was so amazing, I just had to stay until it set again on Sunday.



It's amazing how in less than 2 days and with a language barrier, we all became one big happy family. Stef's family all spoke only Czech, which made things interesting. It was a perfect weekend (minus the fact that the boy couldn't join me) and I loved the whole thing. I kayaked, fell asleep on the beach, read magazines, took a thousand photos, had in depth conversations with new people, and attempted to speak Czech from the language book. I was so sad to leave...



But my stomach had had enough. Too. Much. Cake.



That's enough photos to make up for my lack of posting over the weekend right?

Love and all that, _R